When you knew you’d met the one?

Did you ever come close to committing to forever to the wrong one?

I’m currently a single mom in a relationship with a childhood friend, he’s in the marines and we were neighbors until I was 15 and he’s an incredible human being. He has integrity, follows through, works hard, saves up, doesn’t get stupid, committed, planning for when he gets out, kind, gracious, generous, and so much more he’s amazing. There’s little shit that bothers me like him playing video games 24/7 when he’s not working, him wanting to just band aid my problems and pretend they’re not there, him not believing in PTSD and thinking I should “just get over it”, him not having any real life experience. Things that aren’t usually something to stop me. But I don’t feel much of a connection, I do, but not consistently. I’ve never felt that “head over heels” feeling with him but have doubted that I’ll Ever feel it again due to my PTSD from being raped and falling pregnant from that, my body and heart are all locked up tight and I don’t even know how to ge them out. I’m in therapy and pushing hard for healing the last couple months and I honestly don’t have the capacity to be in a relationship, and I feel like if I really truly loved him I would MAKE that time, because I have before. It’s hard to say, but I think genuinely there should be more of a connection. I feel like a crap girlfriend because I don’t feel like I can talk to him so I just don’t and then he feels ignored/neglected and it’s not fair at all. I just want to know if these are things you push past or that come with time, or if the connection really needs to be there to choose someone.