Unloveable?

Ladies...I had a great loyal boyfriend for 4.5 years (last 1.5 year long distance), and we faced a lot of problems during that time and I got over myself in many situations and tried to accept the fact he hates to talk on the phone/text etc. Which made long distance very tough. I cried and cried because I felt rejected in a way, bet he told me it’s not the case. Anyhow, yesterday I told him I still loved him on the phone and he surprisingly said it back through the phone.

BUT today i sent him a picture of him holding a dog, and

I said “i miss you”

he texted “i love dogs”

Me: “Then I wish to be Ruff(dogs name)”

He “why?”

Me “because then i’d be in your arms rn”

He “oh”

Me “do you love me?”

He “it’s not something i can answer ”

Me”please I should know”

He “gn”

Me “why do you talk with me then if you don’t love me anymore and care for me anymore?”

He “such is life”

And then I just went all over and he had switched his data off, i tried to call but he was hanging up and i texted him that

I really need to talk to him this one time, i literally begged for a call and i was panicking. It made me really insane , and I just don’t know what to do and how to take this loss..I already have depression and Im bipolar. Worst part is, i did so much for him, supported him through depression, mentally and financially, always forgave when he hurt me, I always was there for him when he needed me and he couldn’t even pick up the phone when I am feeling suicidal. I just really don’t know what to do, i feel unlovable.

Sorry if this is messy, i don’t even know what to say. I just have no one to talk to. How should I act with him? How should I deal with this? I know there are many smart to whom this will seem silly, but I am totally lost right now.