Feeling over whelmed

I’m 33 +3 l. I have been nothing but poorly through whole pregnancy I’ve got HG and I’ve Been in hospital 13 times with 2 admissions to different hospitals as she tried to come early. (My hospital doesn’t have facilities to take Babies below 34 weeks) My consultant has agreed to give me a c section in 17 days time which is 4 week early. I feel so ungrateful to have this little miracle inside me especially when so many people I know are desperate for a family. I feel that is I truly open up about how I feel people will judge me and tell me to suck it up. I’m sick 10+ times a day have lost 20 kilos since being pregnant, I hate food I hate waking up not knowing how I will be that day. I’m warn out and my body has nothing left to give. I have to inject myself everyday. Has anyone else been poorly and hated being pregnant? Help me feel normal. Xx