I’m 19 years old, fist time mom, single mom. My baby girl is 6 months old. She is the light of my life. But I’m struggling. (Long post)

At least once a day I cry (usually) because I feel like I’m a bad mom or I feel like a failure. I’m always on edge and so jumpy all of the time. The dog will bark and it’ll scare me so bad. On the Fourth of July my step dad tried to scare my brother but scared me and I cried... that’s never happened before.

I feel like I have been struggling with this since I had her. It was really bad the first 2 months but I worked through it. I would look at her and cry because of how much I love her, I would look at my dog and cry because he’s getting old. Like what??!

She’s always been a good sleeper but now I’m like a human pacifier. She has to nurse to fall asleep. She’s still sleeping in the bed with me. I check her breathing though out the night and I’m not sure why. She was born full term and very healthy 8 pounds 2 ounces. She’s always been healthy I have no reason to worry but I do 💔

The longest amount of time I’ve been away from her is when I have to run to Walmart. I usually have to take her but sometimes my mom watches her.

I have anxiety about leaving her with anybody, including my mom. But it’s not like my mom has asked to watch her so I can have some “me” time. I feel like I couldn’t have me time even if I tried I’d be worried ab my baby.

I’ve always struggled with depression and anxiety since I was about 12 years old. I’ve gotten so much better over the years though. I was on Zoloft 50 mg for my entire pregnancy and even before I was pregnant but I recently (about 2 months ago) weaned myself off of it for some side effects I was having. Plus I’m breastfeeding & it was giving me anxiety. Like how do I know its really safe for me to be taking while breastfeeding? I couldn’t get the thought out of my head.

My mom has not been supportive. She acts like she’s never had children when she’s had 4. She makes me cry a lot. I have no friends, I cut them out of my life.

I want to be a good mom so bad. I play with my baby, I love her, we cuddle, we go outside. But I feel like she knows when I’m crying. I don’t know..