I'm currently a junior in high school. I'm with a new boyfriend thay i love dearly but i cant help but think about my previous relationship. it started when i was a freshman and he was a junior. we'll call him joe. Joe was the mayor's son. very smart, deep into psychology and mythology. crazy smart. i was a very wild girl. snuck out, misbehaved, yet I'm smart. my mother didnt care, (she's a drug dealer) and i was on the verge of self destruction. my best friend/enemy liked him. she was that type of girl that played dumb. joe wasn't into that. I order to piss er off i went after him. flirted wit him in front of her, texted him while she was next to me, all that jazz. even stole her ex. he knew what i was doing and he enjoyed it. it made him attracted to me. he knew how to read me and from the way i rebelled, he knew i had a broken home. after six months of talking, we met up. first time I ever met up with him, i kissed him first. it was one of the reasons why he agreed to a second time. he had other girls he fucked around with, but I didn't care. he somehow knew me better than i knew myself. i gave him a blow job our first time. it escalated from there. he only ever wanted a fuck buddy in the beginning. we stayed together, secretly, for two years. i even cheated on my now boyfriend with him. about six months ago, (he was a senior, i was a sophomore), i found out he dropped all his other girls for me. he was even going to take me to prom. his sex was a therapy for me. he expected me to be smart and honest. he changed me. he made me want to be better. i fell in love with him. i wanted more. he is going to college in a month so it wouldn't work out. not to mention i now have an adoring boyfriend. he worships me. the sex is fantastic and he always makes sure i enjoy myself. even spending half an hour with his head between my legs. but is it bad i still miss Joe? he did many things for me. made me understand myself. is it still okay for me to miss him? (my now boyfriend knows I cheated. we worked through it, I'm no longer talking to my ex.) we're going strong, three months now.