Baby Shower Fail rant

Let me preface this by saying that I have a big family: my parents are busy therapists, my siblings are all successful and kind people. I have 7 sisters and three brothers: most of them live closely (within 100 miles).

I am closest to my older sister. She is a smart and successful woman, but she does tend to procrastinate and overcommit. She's incredibly talented and generous, and I love her very much.

I am 35.1 weeks pregnant with my first child with my second husband: I have two daughters, the youngest is 9.5. We prayed and tried for nearly two years for this baby, and it is my last.

About 4 months ago, my sweet husband secretly started plans with her for a baby shower. He tried to keep it under wraps (very sneaky!), but I found out when my sister admitted it and asked for a guest list. That was two months ago. I didn't tell my husband I knew about the plans.

Today, she texted to ask what dates worked for me. I am due August 14th, with a csection scheduled August 9th. Both my babies were born 2 weeks early, my husband and I were both early, and I am already at 1.5cm.

Turns out, my sister actually wasn't planning at all. She finally admitted that not only does she not have time, or isn't available, but that she hadn't even started planning. I gave her 5 open dates, none of which would work for her.

I know it seems selfish to want a baby shower. It's a blessing. But I wanted to celebrate with family: I wanted to celebrate with friends! I'm finally in a happy marriage, and this is IT for me: no more babies!

My husband is PISSED. I am hurt. I love my sister, and I know she didn't intend to hurt me, so I told her it was okay. She said she was sorry and she felt terrible. I believe her. She's a teacher, and off for the summer, with the possibility of switching schools and moving.

I've been crying all day. I don't know if it's because I feel Passed over, or from hormones. I needed to vent all this in a safe space: I can't talk to mom because she will try and throw something last minute to fix it, and she's so busy, she barely has time to eat as it is.

I don't want to be an afterthought either.

Am I over reacting? I'm trying to be forgiving, but I feel so hurt. Should I be honest with my sister about how her actions hurt me? It would make her feel guilty and like a failure, and I don't want to cause her pain on purpose. What I feel matters, though.

What would you do in this situation?