Motherhood is hard

I’m a FTM. And let me just say, motherhood is no joke. It’s probably the hardest, most frustrating but yet most rewarding journey I’ve ever embarked on. I had no idea what to expect once baby was born and was very nervous about connecting with my baby once she arrived. I’m happy that the bond I have with my daughter was instantaneous and without second thought. But the sleepless nights and constant round the clock feedings is something I never imagined. I knew babies ate a lot and cried but never to this level. I didn’t know that I would be running on 3 or 4 hours of sleep for multiple days in a row. I would be lying if some nights I didn’t think to myself “what did I get myself into” “am I cut out for this?”. I’m so grateful for my support system (my mother and husband) but I just needed to vent. My husband really wants a house full of kids but honestly the thought scares me. My baby only cries when she needs something and isn’t fussy so I can’t imagine having a difficult baby and I’m convinced if she was so easy then I’m doomed for a troublesome baby next. Maybe it’s the hormones but I just can’t see me wanting anymore. Do women forget the labor pains, the sleepless nights, running on 0% energy? How do women with multiples do it? And if I have more, how in the world do people take care of a newborn with toddlers running around?! I had a rough night of sleep last night and am really in my feelings today. I could really use some words of encouragement.