So Upset- he’s not ready. Anyone else?

So, don’t judge. I don’t need mean opinions, just support. TIA.

So, I have Incompetent cervix... i delivered prematurely at 23w2d to a beautiful baby boy, he passed away a day shy of 2 weeks in the NICU on May 16th,2018. I’ve been going round and round with doctors but we came up with a game plan, for my next pregnancy how to try and handle it as I have to have surgery and etc. (long story) but I’ll be getting a TAC. But anyways, my point is- he gave me the OK to start trying again when we’re ready. And I am ready. But my SO is not. I’ll be ovulating according to my app and I just got off a period yesterday, so I was kinda excited to possibly start trying next week even tho I am not in high hopes getting pregnant so soon. But he doesn’t wanna try. I know I can’t be upset with him, I KNOW I can’t be mad with him. But I just feel so blank. So empty. Is this normal?? Please tell me someone else has been through this. I feel so unsupported and discouraged. I miss my son. I miss my pregnant belly as my original due date is next month. Mt birthday is Saturday. Nothing just seems to help and I feel so down. 😓