So i have been off of bc since last august. My husband and i have an amazing 6 year old daughter and she is my world all i ever wanted. My daughter and hubby have been nagging about having another one. She wants either a brother or a sister and he just wants another. I said i wasnt gonna freak over it and if it happens the its in GOD’S plan. Well every month we test , and plan and its all for nothing. July 4th i got my af and she was a week late. Stressful on me and so disappointing. Whole reason why i wanted to not do this again. Well a few days after the 4th our girl got sick then a few days i got what she had. Went to the md and i already had an issue as i have nodules that are getting bigger on my thyriod. So she did bloodwork and all that. Well yesterday i got my results my kidneys are struggling and my bp is super high. My white cell count was high. Probaly due to sickness. Thyroid and glucose were perfect. The kidney thing scares me as when i was pregnant i had issues and preclampsia and was put on bedrest for the last 3 months. And they had to do a c sec after 48hrs of labor, which they thought i had a heart attack during. Ended up not but thenbi had a staff afterwards n a hard recovery. Well tonight my husband is sick he got what we have been dealing with and while hes in the shower he told me he wants to die because hes sick then whatever the hell is wrong with me and that his world means nohjng since i told him i didnt wanna try anymore til i get my health back on track. Work is slow, and bills are stressing himnout. It just irks me we have a beautiful girl. And he just acts like its nothing. I have cried so much because im scared and i feel like a failure but i dont think its the time to try and bring in another life when i could possibly die. My girl is my world. It just hurts. I am a huge believer that everything happens for a reason and that everyone has a plan. And i think theres a reason that i havent gotten pregnant yet. It just breaks my heart that my husband acts like he has nothing. His family is amazing and we own our in business, yes we rent our place, but its right next to his parents, who are very involved and close . I feel like we have a great life , and its like hes just saying fuck it. Any advice would be great im at my breakingnpoint.