What Should I Do (Long Rant, Totally Worth It)
I honestly don’t know where to start but ill try my best to keep this in order. I have this group of friends but one person in this group is really getting out of touch with reality. To keep his identity safe i will use the name BOB for him lol. In highschool, me, my boyfriend and a couple other friends would every Friday go to BOB’s house and have a big get together, order pizza, socialize, etc, and this would happen every Friday all the way from freshman year to senior year. We even continued doing this ritual even after we graduated but then this is where BOB took a turn for the worse. After graduation, me, my boyfriend and other friends of the group all had responsibilities to take on such as a job to provide for ourselves since we were now adults. BOB on the other hand thought that owning a drivers license was “too mainstream” because everybody was getting their license and thought it was an unneeded necessity... Why? I could not answer that because we don’t know BOB’s reasoning.
Continuing on, here we are two years later out of highschool, we all have jobs, drive, moved out of home or pays rent at home, and BOB only has his license, no job, he actually quit half way through his first semester of community college because he says, “the professors are all liberals and give out too many assignments to keep up”.....
When we do all have time to go see BOB, if we want to all go out to dinner somewhere, BOB tries to make an excuse to get take out/fast food and stay home to eat like “nah man, its gettin kinda late” and “i don’t want to deal with talking to waiters”... It’s like he’s a buzz kill, he doesn’t want to go out to dinner anywhere, he doesn’t want to go out to events with any of us. All he wants to do is stay home.
So because BOB does absolutely nothing with his life, he still expects everyone to come over every Friday to come see him still at home living with his mom who still pays for everything of his. Anytime we all cant make it over because we have to work or had other plans made, he tells us “no one ever has time for me anymore” and gets extremely pissed off at us because we cant make it over. We all don’t know what to do with BOB, we’ve tried gently telling him that it may be time for him to get a part time job to get the ball rolling but he got pissed at the and he told all of us that “he can search for a job on his own time”... But he’s had two years of his own time doing nothing and doesn’t want to look for a job like that is “too mainstream” now.
But anytime we try to talk to BOB about getting a job and starting his life he gets all pissed and makes us look like the bad guys and tell us that we don’t understand what he wants to do in life.
So we don’t know what to do with BOB, its like he’s stuck in this bubble and he doesn’t want to get out of it because it keeps him away from reality. We want to give him advice that he will actually listen to but we felt like we have tried everything. What should we do?