The purpose of this post is to tackle common misconceptions about Islam. I have no intention to preach, I only aim to offer a truer image of Islam - what is commonly portrayed is far from accurate.

So I start with a big one. Are women oppressed at the hands of Islam?

“What I love about women in Islam is how well respected we are. Muslim men treat me so differently than the men I knew before, in a good way. I also love how the role of a mother in raising children is celebrated, and the care we receive as a result. I know women outside of Islam often feel that gender equality means like-for-like opportunities and roles. I think Islam is far more honest and beautiful in its recognition that men and women have different strengths and abilities. Women are the best placed to raise their children, and therefore they don’t have to work if they don’t want to. But I also love that this is a choice for individual women - that we absolutely can work if we want to. Khadija (r), the Prophet’s (s) first wife, is an amazing example of this.” [Emma (Saima) - Convert of 7 years]

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➖ “Can a man beat his wife?” No, of course not! “But it says so in the Qur’an!” In extreme cases, according to the Qur’an, a man is permitted to ‘hit’ his wife, equivalent to the striking of a feather. A FEATHER.. If he does even this, without a serious reason, then he is sinful. If he causes any pain, or leaves a mark, he is sinful. In short, no, a man can absolutely not beat his wife.

Muhammad (s) said (explanation of a Hadith), “The best of you will never beat their women.” [Ma’arif Al Qur’an]. It was also reported that Muhammad (s) never hit his wives and ensured the happiness of his wives at all times. It is his example that every Muslim should follow.

➖ “I heard that a Muslim wife cannot refuse to have sex with her husband.” Well, actually, she can. But without a valid reason, she would be sinful. However, a husband who refuses to have sex with his wife is equally sinful. A husband and wife are made for each other and are each other’s pleasure. A bonus for women, though, is that a man is required by Islam to sexually please his wife until she is completely satisfied.

Marriage is far greater than fulfilling rights, though. It is an understanding based on love and respect, as Muhammad (s) encouraged. He said, “The most perfect of believers are those most perfect in character; and the best amongst you are the best of you to your spouses.” [Tirmidhi]

➖ “Why does a Muslim woman have to cover herself?” First and foremost, because Allah has told us to cover, so that we are not harassed. The hijab (headscarf) is a woman’s protection. Dressing modestly is not exclusive to women - Muslim men are also expected to cover. Women wear hijabs, Men keep beards. For both, the requirement is modesty. Some muslims dress in traditional Islamic clothing, some adapt their country’s normal clothing to a more modest look. Either is fine. How much one covers and what one covers with, as long as the minimum requirement is met, is up to the individual.

“O Prophet (s), tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks close round them. That will be better, so that they may be recognized and not annoyed. Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful.”” [Qur’an 33:59]

➖ “Why is polygamy permitted for men?” The rulings around polygamy are strict. It is a husband’s duty to provide for his family. In this sense, he is permitted to provide for up to 4 women, given that he can care for each of them equally. Not everything is about sex. There are many cultures that would leave a widow, a divorcee or a single mother to fend for herself. If a man is able to do so with fairness, he can take care of a woman who might otherwise go neglected - though he is not limited to this. But the majority of Muhammad’s (s) wives were widows or divorcees. And of course, it is by his example that we live. If a Man abuses this right, then no doubt, he will answer to his Lord.

“But if you fear that you will not maintain equity, then keep to one woman..” [Qur’an 4:3]

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Of course muslims can be oppressors and Muslims can be oppressed, but oppression never occurs at the hands of Islam. Nor is oppression exclusive to Muslims. Nor is it exclusive to women! Sadly, it happens at the hands of many cultures. If a Muslim behaves a certain way, please don’t automatically assume that his actions represent Islam. He is just another imperfect human being.

Allah has said, “O My servants! I have forbidden oppression for Myself, and I have made it forbidden amongst you, so do not oppress one another.” [Sahih Muslim]

Please, if you have any questions regarding the oppression in Islam, ask away!

(Note: a separate post will be created to address the issue of slavery).