a bitch gotta get this shit off her chest cause I’ve been holding it in for too mf long

so back at the start of freshman year ( Im a junior now ) I had a crush on this guy let’s call him T so I had a crush on T & it just so happens that our lockers were right next to each other but he never noticed me so one day my best friend let’s call him J so one day J asked me who I liked & I told him I liked T and he said they were close friends & he’d put in a good word for me , I was like yessssss so the next day after school he said “ yea T likes you to “ I was so shocked cause he never even looked my way but it turns out there was another girl with my same name in our grade and he was talking about her so this one day it was raining super hard & I was waiting with J for our ride so we could leave & T randomly walks up to him so I just walked away & stood in the corner with J’s brother well I heard J say super loud “ she likes you bro “ so I turned and they were looking at me T said “ wait you like me ?” And idk what came over me I said “ yea I do “ and he was like “ oh that’s wassup , I’ll hit you up later on insta “

Back story : the night before this he actually followed me on Instagram and commented on one of my pictures lmao

So we leave & I’m so mf happy so then we start talking and tbh I didn’t learn anything about him when we were talking I was just caught up in his looks so about a week later he asked me out and I’m like “ finally yea “ so the first time I came over to his house was idk so first off he lives with his mom , his aunt & his dad figure who’s super mean so anyways we pretty much just took a long ass nap and when we woke up I left so the first time was cool but the second time was when shit hit the fan . It was about a month into our relationship and I was acting all fast so we had sex for the first time , well the condom broke and the next day we were running all over town tryna get the morning after pill but at the end his best friend C stole a plan b from target so I dodged that bullet . Anyways slowly after that i started to notice that he was really disrespectful to his mom & aunt so I talked to J about it & said “ red flag number one , leave him before he treats you like that “ well me being the dumb bitch I am I didn’t listen so 6 months later I’ve seen it all , I’ve seen him yell at his mom for saying no to him I’ve seen him yell at his aunt for tryna help him . I’ve seen him kick his mom literally kick his mom off his bed after she’s had open heart surgery I’ve seen it all so long story short he’s controlling , bratty , and super manipulating .

My sisters & half my family stopped talking to me because they didn’t like him . I didn’t even love the guy at all idk why I stayed so anyways let’s get back to the story , during our 11 months dating I noticed that he was really close to my mom & while I was sleeping they would literally skip town and go on road trips , weird asf right ?? & he would let my mom sleep over at his house while I was there and just ditch me for her . Eventually I got used to it so lemme just give y’all a summary : he was manipulative , extremely needy , he laid hands on me , he raped me , he cussed me out all the time , he spit in my face .

Let’s focus on the laying hands part , so he always accused me of being the gf he never wanted cause I wasn’t on his dick 24/7 cuddling him and catering to his every need it’s just the kind of person I am I wasn’t very openly affectionate cause I didn’t love him so this one time we were talking in my room with the door open & my mom was in the bathroom next door with the door open so he was saying something to me I forgot what it was and I said something he didn’t like so he literally twisted my arm and I started crying and my mom came in and said what happened ?? And he kept saying “ what is it your cramps do you need a pain killer ??” And I said “ stop lying you know what you did “ he said “ what are you talking about “ and my mom left , I kept pushing him away and saying “ go tell my mom the truth “ and he went to the bathroom and told her & all this bitch said was ok 😐 O FUCKING K so pretty much anything that happened after that I didn’t bother telling her , he would push me all the time , corner me in rooms , if I made him mad he would push me off the bed & didn’t let me get back on the bed , when I would try to walk home cause I had to much he would follow me . He was fucked up in the head .

The part where he raped me only 3 ppl know about that none are family members so basically I woke up & this mf was inside me & when I realized what was going on he played the victim & started crying 😑

So at the start of sophomore year we went to different schools and I met so many different people and I just figured I didn’t need a ball and chain so I dumped him and he started so much drama with the new guy I was talking to & his gf YES GF that he suddenly got after we broke up ( he told me he cheated on me ) wanted to fight me & for what ? Idk just existing I guess 😂 so a week after my 15th birthday he called me & said he needed to talk to me so I said ok what’s up & he said no in person & I said well I’m not leaving & this mf called my mom and she was like “ okay c’mon “ and I’m like omg what ever so she drops me off & we’re walking around outside & im like begging him to go inside cause 1. It was super cold & 2. The guy I was heavily talking to lived in that same neighborhood so we go inside and we’re in his aunts room cause his bitch ass friend was in there so he’s talking to me about all the girls he played after we broke up & im like ok wdf do this gotta do with me ?? So then he turned the lights off cause he wanted to talk in the dark and outta no where he swings and punches me on the side of my face . All I remember thinking was “ Juliana don’t be a bitch don’t cry “ and after that I just buried my face in the pillow and started crying . I got up & went to grab my shoes but he stepped on them & cornered me after I kept pushing on his legs he backed up and I grabbed my shoes & ran out . His mom stopped me at the door and I told her what happened and he came out the room and called me a liar , his moms friend who always told me that if T layed a hand on me he’s beat his ass was sitting on the couch laughing . T said my face was red cause I was rubbing my face against the pillow the whole time I was screaming at him & his dad figure came out and asked if he hit me & I said yea & T said no I didn’t & his dad figure was like “ T what the fuck is your problem “ his aunt came home & I caught her up on what happened so she drove me home & on the way home his mom said, “ T just loves you so much he cries all the time “ I said “ no he doesn’t Donna “ and she said “ oh ok sweetie “ when I came home I just walked past my mom and the next days my sister came over & I told her what happened & all day T was texting me telling me how he’s gonna get away with it cause he has my mom wrapped around his finger & how I need discipline & how easy it was , I finally told my mom & news flash she didn’t care & she still doesn’t . She still hangs out with him yes the chill & they FaceTime all the time & she’s always buying him stuff . I moved out my moms house cause I couldn’t take it . I live my my tia now . & it’s pretty sad cause the only person who ever offered to help was my sisters, my aunt & uncle & my cousin who was always tryna beat him up but my ex would always bail and never show up .

If y’all were wondering yes he was white , you ever see those posts about how white guys call their mom a bitch and stuff I never thought it was true until I met him & heard him call his mom a bitch . Shit was crazy I was so perplexed

So anyways my uncle & aunt told me to press charges & that’s what I did but nothing happened . I haven’t got a call back so i just dropped it .

So moral of the story always pay attention to the way ur mans treats the women in his family thanks for coming to my ted talk 😉

& also if you came this far thanks for listening , I don’t got a lot of people to talk to