I’ve been seeing a lot of posts from these women “this is what my husband did” or “he called me this” or “she did this” and so on... And in the comments they’re still responding with things she/he has done. Husbands calling wives names. Girlfriends calling their boyfriends stupid or assholes.

Because this goes for the guys too, if you are in an abusive relationship, whether it be physically or emotionally, GET. OUT.

Seriously. I know how hard that is. I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. He controlled what I was doing, even if he wasn’t around. I wasn’t allowed to go out with my friends. I wasn’t allowed to travel long distances by myself. He always wanted to go through my phone, yet he NEVER let me touch his. He used to tell me he didn’t love me. That he deserved better than me. That I was psychotic and should’ve been put in a mental hospital. He talked down on me, made me feel small.. One day, even raised his hand up like he was going to hit me. He was 6 ft 370 pounds. I was 5 ft 2inches 160 pounds. I got up chest to chest with him and straight up told him to do it so I’d have a reason to leave. He started to, stopped himself, and turned around and walked away. He always told me My dreams were too big. That I wouldn’t be able to handle them. He even told me once if I followed my dreams, he’d leave me. I made excuses for him CONSTANTLY. I always told everyone “He’s really sweet he’s just having a rough day” or “He’s just stressed out/tired”.

Sound familiar anyone??

It’s been a year and a half since I got out of that relationship. I have a man now that loves me unconditionally. He takes care of me when I’m sick. He supports my decisions. He tells me when I’m making bad decisions. We communicate with each other. We don’t touch each other’s things without permission. We don’t make any big purchases without talking. He called my father, my stepfather, and my brother and got all of their permissions before he proposed to me. We have a baby on the way. And while we have rough days, he never yells when he’s mad, but he sits down and we talk things out. He calls me beautiful and gorgeous constantly and tells me he loves me.

That’s what you can have too. That relationship you may be in now, where you’re making excuses for them, and you want to think they will change. They won’t change. No matter how badly you want them too. Or how much you think you can change them. You can’t.

I know you love them. I loved him too. But you can do SO. Much. Better. You deserve someone to love you unconditionally. You deserve someone who respects you, and supports you. You deserve to be happy. Truly happy. And to be loved.

So please, build that strength, get out of that relationship, and find someone to truly love you for YOU. Find someone you deserve. Build that confidence back up. Immerse yourself in your dreams. Do that thing you always wanted to do but couldn’t when they were around.

You won’t regret it. And you won’t miss them. You will at first. But once you realize how much better you are, you won’t anymore. And you’ll be so much stronger and braver.

You can do it. I know you can. 💜