Built up anger

*begin rant*

I try so had to be patient with my man because he has some anger issues - which have gotten a lot better in the last 10 years. It’s not physically abusive anger, but he verbally takes a lot of anger out on me whether it’s my fault or not. He blames me for almost everything that goes wrong. I can be having a great day, he blows up and I’m instantly depressed to the point that I want to crawl into bed and not get out for days. He knows I have depression that flares up now and then, along with a shit ton of stress due to the lifestyle we chose (owning/running a couple business together). On top of that, my anxiety gets bad to the point of my chest tightens to where I can’t breathe. However, it’s like none of that matters because when he lets his anger loose, that’s all he cares about. Then he apologies every fuckin time saying “I’m so sorry, I know you don’t deserve to be treated like that” then continues to treat me like that....well after the 100th time I’m over accepting his apologies!! I’ve lost my patience, I have so much anger built up inside me, and at the same time I’m indifferent. I’m numb and emotionless in front of him.

*end rant*

I don’t even know why I’m posting this. I guess just to get some of my feelings out in a silent way since he’s home and I can’t scream, cry and punch a wall.