Sleep training?

Question

My daughter is 9 months old. We’ve been cosleeping since she was a newborn. It’s just what works for us and she sleeps great with no problems, but I’ve heard over and over that we need to get her in the crib because she can’t sleep with us forever, which I understand is true. So I decided to start sleep training with the cry it out method. First, I started her with napping in the crib and she did great. But, once it was night time and I put her in there, she screamed and bawled endlessly. It broke my heart and I couldn’t stand it. She was crying so hard that she couldn’t even catch her breath. So needless to say, she ended up back in our bed. Am I wrong for doing that? Should I be more serious with the sleep training? Or do I comfort her by letting her sleep with us? I just need help 🤦🏻‍♀️😭

Answer

I noticed you said “it works for us and she sleeps great”. If it works for your family and you’re getting rest, don’t worry about what others think you should do! However if you really want to I would just say do it in a way that is respectful of your baby’s emotions and needs. Our society expects a lot of independence from little ones and I think we just have to be careful how we do transitions like these. Good luck! Whatever choice you make will be the right one!

Answer

If it helps, we are just loving on our daughter. No sleep training and yes we are tired but she’s going to live what, at least 80 years? 1-2years of cuddling her and comforting her while she figures out how to sleep on her own won’t kill us. Bringing her to bed won’t scar her, she will grow out of it. We have decided to just go to her when she’s upset and completely comfort her. 
If that’s not how you want to parent then that’s okay too! Gentle cry it out won’t hurt your baby. But only you can know if your kid is ready for something like that. Our day is too sensitive so it’s not for us.

Answer

I don’t think you’re wrong for bringing her back in the bed. Going from co sleeping to crying it out is a massive step for a baby, I’d have been crying too

Answer

If cosleeping/bedsharing is working for your family, don’t stop. I recently dug deep into our society’s obsession with infant sleep- no CIO method is scientifically supported. If you are getting rest and you’re comfortable with the situation, continue to be there for your baby at night.

Answer

Just a little update! She has been successfully napping in the crib. Bed time is a little more difficult, but I’m hoping tonight goes better because her nap time went so smooth today! Just wondering if I’m doing one thing wrong..I put her down in the crib, sing her a song until she settles, then after 5 or so minutes of me standing there next to her, she falls asleep. Is this a bad thing, like does it defeat the whole purpose of getting her to self soothe? I’m just taking it one step at a time so as of right now, I’m proud I got her in the crib period 🙌🏼😂

Answer

I sleep trained at 7 months, it was horrific. I felt physically sick hearing him cry. My partner had to be the strong one as I caved in pretty quick at first. I needed more structure in my days and I wanted my evenings back to spend with my partner, I also needed a routine and set bedtime for little one. As much as I loved the cuddles and closeness which I do still miss I am so thankful we did it. My rule was once laying little man down I would retreat to the kitchen make a cup of tea, then drink it. If he was still crying when I finished I could go and comfort him. 9 times out of ten he would be fast asleep by the time I’d finished. Today he’s a brilliant sleeper and we are both much happier knowing he is getting enough sleep. I know how hard it is to listen to but remember that cry isn’t hunger or pain it’s simply I don’t know what you want me to do. Make sure you praise him when he wakes from naps and soon enough he will learn what you want from him when he is placed in that cot.

Answer

Did you just leave her or did you go in every few minutes? With my daughter I tried the going in every few minutes (which worked with my son) but it only made it worse so I just had to leave her to cry. There are also some gentle sleep training programs that you could google that friends of mine have used. I will tell you that many moms I have talked to have said that they wish they would have broken the co sleeping habit between 9-12 months. Because it just gets so much harder to do after that (a mom whose 5 yr old was still in bed with them told me this)

Answer

If you’re gonna CIO you’ve gotta be serious about it. It’s unfair to let them cry and then go get them (they just don’t understand). I stayed in the room with my daughter the whole time and comforted her until she fell asleep - without picking her up. It’s hard, but she is a much better sleeper now!

Answer

I noticed you updated/responded to say that she does naps great and you sing her a little song- that’s perfect. Maybe if you can get the room dark (like it would be a night) and have some sort of white noise or music during nap time that you can repeat at bed time it’d help.  We draw the blinds, turn on this little machine that projects moving stars on her ceiling, and turn on her lullaby, sing her my own little tune, and kiss her on the cheek and walk out. That’s what worked for us. I think she doesn’t really know the difference between naps and bedtime because of that, so she doesn’t fight it.

Answer

working daycare with infants for several years and at first i gave no thought to co sleeping til nap times rolled around that room would be half mess i found the infants that were sleep trained to a bed we way more calm and comfortable and would sleep better that remained through the years (1 to 4) and even in play i found from a young age they were happy and confident to do things on their own. where on the flip side  infants who co sleep obvisously had big sleep issues at the daycare but even after the fact out of infancy i found sleep issues remained through the years (1-4). i also found that they were the children were more clingy and were more confident with parent or guardian present.
i am a mother of 2 young child 21 months and 9 month both were sleep trained at 6 months but never co slept walked n rocked my babies to sleep n then slowly let them cry it out

Sleep training?

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