Please tell me this gets easier? 💔

I had a post back on July 16th and since then it hasn’t gone as I hoped. Here’s a little back story.

My SO and I had a miscarriage in 2013 at 7 weeks. We were so upset by the lose that we decided to take a break, and take some time for ourselves. Almost 2 years ago we decided to start trying again. Two times my period was over a week late and we had our fingers crossed, but AF showed as always. I have taken a pregnancy test during those times and it came back a definite no. Today I am 5 days before my due period and I just felt like something was different. I took a test and got a very faint line, which has never happened, it’s always plain white with one definite line.

Since then I have taken 3 more tests and all were positive even though the line was very faint. I had a feeling something wasn’t right because the lines weren’t getting much darker. Either way I tried to stay hopeful and pray it would stick. It didn’t. I had a chemical pregnancy. I have never had one before. I woke up two nights ago at 4am with bad cramps, then came the bleeding. I still don’t want to accept it wasn’t real, that it’s over and we’re still trying. 💔😭