So a couple days ago my best friend gave birth to her baby. This time has been trying for me that’s for sure. My husband and I have been ttc for over a year with nothing happening. This is her 2nd child and she is not married ( she wasn’t trying). Now through out my ttc journey I have had my ups and downs. Mostly downs in the beginning, but then I really started praying differently and working on this thing called faith. My journey lately has been much better I have really strengthened my relationship with the lord and like I said been working on my faith making it stronger. With the Lord’s help I have really gotten myself to a good place, a place filled with hope, faith and joy. Now when I first found out my bff was pregnant that was my first test of faith. It was hard, I’m not gonna lie, I cried. But I also prayed and got to the point where I could be and was genuinely happy and excited for her. I had my trials through out her pregnancy still, there were some days where she’d send me her sonogram pic and I didn’t even wanna look at it. But then a few days later I would and I’d be so excited for her. Fast forward to a few days ago, the birth. Now I was so excited for that baby to be born, I couldn’t wait to see and hold her, smell that new baby smell! And let me tell y’all she was adorable and I loved seeing and holding her. Ok fast forward to two days later, my friend is texting me and sending me pics, talking all about her and how she is trying breastfeeding. Y’all today, it got a little hard. Still happy for her but those feeling have been trying to creep in all day, jealousy, sadness, hopelessness. I mean the devil is really trying me with this situation. Now I have stayed happy and positive but the thoughts are in the back of my head. I want my baby so bad and this was a hard day. However I look around me and I see how blessed I am, I see how the lord has been answering my prayers one by one. I remember his word says “ therefor I say unto you, what things soever ye desire, when you pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.” - Mark 11:24. And let me tell you all, I have been asking and I have been receiving. No I’m not pregnant yet but all the little things leading up to that are happening and I know it’s all Because of prayer. This, this is what gives me hope, this is what reminds me keep my faith strong and push out all this negative thoughts that try to enter my head. It is tough, I’m not gonna lie, but it is great being a child of God because he is always with us. So this post was really me just sharing with you my struggles and how I managed to get past them these past few days. I like to think I’m so hopeful and full of faith that I never feel these things anymore but I am human after all and sometimes I still struggle. I’m just so happy I have God to turn to and help me through it all.