Separating from SO/Kids father ...
So we been together 4 years , but it's not until recently his true colors came out. I was pregnant back to back only a few months after we met. Finished school and now started my career.
Well my coworkers like to participate in happy hour, which I've never done I'm only 24 and been pregnant and home bodied like I said. Well my SO acts so unstable the times I've been out. it's only been about 7 times in the last 2 and a half years. Every time he acts worse. and it's been physical now.
He likes to grab me and hold me in a room. He KNOWS I've been in an abusive relationship prior and cannot stand that behavior. As soon as I start to feel vulnerable , something sparks and I become very defensive, even if that means hitting him to get him off of me. I'm not anyone's property that they can do as they please with me.
Anyhow, Friday I went out with my coworkers for her bday to a local bar after work. I let him know my plans a few days prior because he likes to blame his anger outburst on me making "last minute" plans. Well immediately Friday morning he started being on my ass asking where will I be how long etc. I told him idk we just got here but I'll let you know. he continued to call and text me. I answered the phone , and he told me when km done there he will pick me up. I told him I didnt need to be picked up , I will let him know when I will be home but he continued to harass me, which happens EVERY TIME , so ultimately I want to have a good time so I ignore him. Now its 8pm and we are at my friends house deciding if we want to go out somewhere else. I order the lyft and my bf is OUTSIDE her house behind the lyft demanding I get in the car. I didnt want to just leave my friends hanging so I wanted to go back... he mugged me in my face and held onto me as I was trying to escape the car. I have Mark's and bruises on my arms. I had to kick my way out of the car and apparently I damaged his car door.
As were outside at this point he is following me and I am screaming for him to get away from me. A bystander had to intervene and separate him from us. luckily the cops didnt show and my friends found me outside and brought me in the house. I was bleeding from scratches on my arms and hysterically crying in front of all my coworkers . I'm truly embarrassed and feel like a victim.
The next day I told him I want to separate because our relationship is toxic, he apologized for acting how he did. which he has done prior but wants me to STOP going out. I have to socialize, its healthy!! I work full time and am a mother to 2 babies age 1 Nd 2. I have to pull my weight around the house because he doesn't. He dont have friends to go out with, and is extremely clingy I cannot take it anymore.
So he was here for the day spending time with kids and talk. He is upset that I WONT APOLOGIZE FOR THE THINGS I DO WRONG AND I OWE HIM AN APOLOGY FOR MESSING UP HIS CAR DOOR.
Is he serious, He started to get upset and I immediately felt scared and asked him to leave. I feel like I am now in a scary abusive relationship and it's so hard to believe because I never played attention to the signs , I trusted him. I believed him when he said he would never hurt me but his true colors have shown.
I'm sad bacause this is not the life I wanted for my kids. I really wanted to marry him and make this work but I'm realizing it's nearly impossible. I told him we need a break to decide if this is really what we want and to reflect if we are happy or not. it breaks my heart to break up my family, but I cannot stick around and let things get worse. he is blaming me saying I'm choosing Going out over him... Its unhealthy and controlling for him to think he can make decisions on how I'm going to live my life.
I'm going to the court house to file joint custody. I know he would never hurt our children and I dont want him to think he can take off with my kids when he feels like it.
How am I going to do this on my own ? I'm very scared but I feel like I have no other choice. me and my children deserve better.
it's time to start thinking about us 😰😰