I had my appointment this morning. This was to go over my 20 week ultrasound. She said the ultrasound said anatomy was unremarkable but that baby was measuring an average of 18 weeks gestation. Baby should have been closer to 20 weeks at this point. Baby is in the less than 3 percentile meaning that 97% of babies at this point are bigger than this one.

Heart rate was great and in the 140s as has been consistent for awhile. I have been feeling some strong kicks, sometimes painful.

We chose not to do genetic testing in the beginning but the doctor is recommending we do it now. She is also sending is to UCSF because I live in a small town in Northern CA without as many resources. She says they will have resources and testing that we don't have access to up here. This means driving about six hours for doctor's appointments.

I have severe anxiety that they also know about which doesn't make this easier. She offered to sign for temporary disability from work of I want it to do these appointments and take care of myself but...I need to work. I need to prepare for my replacement while on maternity leave, I wasnt prepared and I thought I had time. I just don't know what to do...I took today off and told my boss I would call her later to talk.