Hi I don’t know how to handle this right now. I’m 10 weeks pregnant, I told my boyfriend not too long ago and it was an incredible magical and beautiful trip we took by the ocean and he was way more supportive and accepting than I imagined, considering his fearful reactions to previous scares.

I’m feeling incredibly lonely and afraid right now. After showing him a couple things about the current anatomy of the baby and a pic of what a 10 week ultrasound looks like (I haven’t had mine yet)he became very different and changed. (First time I showed him) He’s almost like a different person. He’s not mean but he’s angry and I feel like he might leave (i kinda know he won’t but it feels like he wants to). He says there’s no way he wants a kid and he sees it as the end of his life and keeps saying that I won’t be able to work and it’ll be up to him completely to support me, that he won’t be able to love it and will always regret it. (And I don’t see any of that being true!!!)

-probably stems from his mom and grandma never working and always being supported by others and his grandfather being a workaholic, which are all life decisions that would not be right for me or for either of us.

He says he wishes it never happened and we never had sex. I don’t know if he meant he wishes he never met me/had sex with me (we’ve been together over 5 years) but it’s painful for us to have so many loving memories and now to suddenly hurt me so badly with these words.

I know he’s panicking because his mom&dad; were horrible abusive drug addicts that he was taken away from as a toddler.(he is amazingly strong and a bit of a miracle) I feel this deeply scarred him and he’s projecting his own feelings that he was a worthless, unlovable, unwanted child onto this baby. That’s how his birth parents treated him and even family that took him in didn’t seem to express their love and treated him like a burden/mistake. Which sucks because he is an amazing person and I know our child will be a wonderful person too, I just feel if he accepts it will help him grow so much and be worth all the struggles.

I just don’t share these feelings of him or this baby being a mistake at all. he is a miracle and a gift from god which I’m so glad he was born and am thankful everyday for. He’s improved the life’s of so many others and is a constant source of joy love life and light all around him. I fell in love with him deeply and do even more all the time. I know our child will be amazing and a gift as well! I guess it’s painful to feel like his feelings about having a baby with me are a reflection of his love for me. Maybe his feelings don’t go as deep as I thought ...? Idk how do guys brains work!!!

I’m in pain though and it hurts so badly right now being near him and feeling all this from him. I can sense he’s going through a lot but the fear of being abandoned and alone s really overwhelming. Also the whiplash of his sudden mood change. He actually seemed accepting and almost happy. Then he just kinda snapped into darkness /depression. Maybe a trigger? Idk

Any tips or similar stories?

☹️