Help - Need some insight...

This is my first post and I am not usually one to put my "business" out there... but I really need some perspective.

My husband and I have been together for 11 years and married almost 6, rocky the whole time and generally on his end unsupportive I feel.

When I had health issues, he accused me of being the problem for months until they finally figured out it was my gallbladder (which was then removed). He argued with me constantly during that time about sex, about money, about EVERYTHING and anything.

He does not get along with my family, which to be fair I understand... but it has been a huge source if tension for us. He did not want me to go to my own brother's wedding and generally every time we argue he brings them up in order to hurt me.

Honestly, he's intentionally insulted me on some of the deepest levels you can imagine (my weight, my intelligence, etc.) and, although I have fired back with some nasty words myself, I am never the instigator. Recently I have really began thinking of divorce. He's admitted that it's on his mind too... and truthfully I have been having feelings for someone else recently as well (I would never act unless we were divorced or separated)...

So tonight divorce came up again and I pretty much said it was what I wanted... and I felt a huge relief... then 5 minutes later he walks in and says "we can have a baby" (what I have really wanted for a while now and he knows it).

... I am 32... I will be 33 soon... I have a decent job. I just don't know what to do... stay and have a baby? Divorce if that doesn't work out and go it alone? Or risk everything and be done with it once and for all? I know this is terrible, but I so badly want a baby, I almost don't care who with... and we have had some happy times... IDK, I guess I know what I should do, but I am so scared of missing out. I just don't know what to do. 😞😞😞

Help...