Why won’t anyone listen? *venting

Okay so... here we go. My Family including my in-laws do not communicate with each other at ALL and I’m starting to get annoyed. My baby showers coming up and they all have each others number and my mother (whose mainly throwing it) has made it clear to everybody if they have questions or concerns to ask her... so why does everybody keep messaging me.. I DONT know anything (for the sixth time) lol anyways, I’ve been hesitant to give details about the theme I’m doing my nursery.... partly because I had absolutely no idea for a while on what I even wanted and then I just didn’t want people to be buying decor because well, I just wanted to choose out that type of stuff and I promised my mom that she could help me decorate ... I made that clear. No decor or anything like that...well I ended up letting it slip on what colour I anted to do the walls... and guess what? My grandpa’s wife (step grandma) decided to start getting decor... and made I the most important thing... the babies name to put above the crib... my mom was so exited to paint the letters and all... it hurts me because she won’t say anything and I think a lot of this happens on purpose (this is definitely not the first time my moms planned something and she’s gone out and got it behind her back) now I don’t want to be mean to anybody... but what do I do? I just want to be heard without hurting anybody’s feelings