In-laws want to stay here after the baby is born?!

Question

So, recently my fiancé mentioned that his parents are likely planning to fly in from FL (we're on the opposite side of the country) after our baby is born and stay with us for a while, probably at least a week. I am COMPLETELY against this! They're great people truly, but the last thing I'll want the second I get home from birthing my first child will be my overbearing in-laws in my home. They stayed with us for a week this summer and I couldn't wait for them to leave. I just like my privacy, ya know? If I want to walk around with no pants on, it's my house and I'll do as I please. Plus, this is my fiance's first baby too, I just want to be able to cuddle the baby and take care of him alone with my guy. 
So, what do you guys think? My fiancé will (hopefully) respect my wishes but I just wonder if I'm overreacting.

Answer

I would say tell your husband they need to wait until you've had time to bond and heal, and if that's not acceptable, then they can stay in a hotel and only come over when YOU say it's okay.

Answer

I mean for me personally if I had my own kid out of my vagina then there’d be no way in fuckin hell anyone comes to my house for two months. It would take twice as long for me to recover and I’d probably be very sickly. That’s just me though, I think if you just went through birth your wishes should be taken into priority.

Answer

I'd speak to your fiance. Explain that the first couple of weeks you really want it to be just you two bonding with baby and working on a routine. It's an adjustment period and you don't want to have to entertain people.

Answer

You might appreciate the help. I mean it's only one week.

Answer

My spouse and I had this same conversation. It is his first child and first grandchild on his side of the family. They can be QUITE overbearing. 
I had to tell his family exactly how I felt and what I wanted, to put my anxieties to rest. I also made it very clear to my spouse that if my wants were not respected then I would go to irrational lengths to achieve my own privacy and bonding time with my child. He could join us or choose not to, but his family bombarding us was absolutely NOT going to happen.
I value our bonding time, also our personal time alone to balance parental duties, learning and growing together. I am not open to everyone else’s opinions and advice the first few weeks after birth, I think it can hinder us as new parents and partners. I want us to lean on each other through these first few weeks of new parenthood, not feel like we can’t handle it and should be leaning on others. Also, I plan on exclusively breastfeeding, I will be in pain and recovering, HELL NO I don’t want to be entertaining guests in and out of our home, no matter how good pure and happy their intentions are. 
I did tell my spouse that I would CONSIDER his mother coming by ONCE A WEEK to help me catch up on chores, sleep, and spend time with the baby after he has returned to work and I am on maternity leave. 
I haven’t committed tho, I too value privacy and being a naked bum in my own home 😋

Answer

Are they against staying in a hotel or AirBnB? That way they’re there when you could need them but not 24/7.

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I would just tell him flat out no. You need your space with your new baby.

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I think situations like this are kind of case by case. After my son was born I really appreciated my fiancé’s parents being here all the time because they actually helped. His dad cleaned up outside and his mom did our dishes and made food and did laundry and they held my son so I could nap. On the other hand my parents just wanted to come over for an hour to hold the baby then leave. If you think you won’t want them there or they won’t actually help and it will just make things more stressful then tell them not to come. Maybe compromise and have them stay in a hotel or something and they can come visit you during the day then leave when you want to rest? I know when I was still figuring out breastfeeding I didn’t want people watching and judging me the whole time or commenting on how often he ate

Answer

No, you are not overreacting. You are allowed to feel how you feel about it and if you don’t want them to come in that first week, I would simply tell them that you want that first week for your little family to bond and then they are welcome to come after that.

Answer

I totally understand where you’re coming from. It’s such a private time and you only want people there that you are completely comfortable with. I wouldn’t allow it.

In-laws want to stay here after the baby is born?!

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