Divorce? Positive advice please.

Okay so I have been with my husband for three years. We have two beautiful daughters. Since day one he has struggled with alcohol, PTSD. He served in the army for ten years, three tours so he has seen some stuff, lost a lot of friends and he always held on too that and blamed himself. I have always been there, supported, dried his tears when he broke down. Well I also am dealing with verbal and mental abuse. He does have a little bit of anger issues, but has never laid his hands on me. Now that we have kids I am just done with it. He calls me nasty names, said I should die, cunt, whore and such

right in front of the girls.... I do not

Want this for my kids, OUR KIDS! Im at a lost on what too do, I love him but not in love anymore. He has pushed me soo far and it sucks but we but heads and it seems it will never change. I am a thousand miles from where I want to be, I wanna go back home and just do what I need to do, but he does not want a divorce. What do I do? How can I start the process of a

Divorce? I want too wait until taxes too do everything and have a set plan, and

goal.... I mean would it be kidnapping if I just up and left the state with the girls, and file from where I will be? I need some advice please. This

Is hard on me, I wanted my family together but I have been dealing with this since day one, and there is no fixing it. We tried counseling, and more dates but just ends up back too how it

use too be.

Also I know I am not perfect, but I do stand up for myself, so I guess I come

Off as a bitch when I do.

Thank you for reading

Love,!

One tired wife.