Friends with benefits advice
Let me start this by saying that I left an abusive relationship less than 6 months ago and I’ve really been struggling with issues from that still. So I started going out with this guy who I had known for about a year through a mutual friend, and he knew about my past relationship and so he didn’t want to rush into anything in case I wasn’t ready. We went on a few dates, we texted on and off, but I kept feeling like he was looking for a more serious relationship, and I didn’t feel ready for that. He’s a great guy, has a good job, makes good money, has his own place and vehicles, has lots of friends and has even introduced me to most of them, but my main issue is that he drinks... a lot. Like he gets drunk every night. Knowing I might have bad judgment about men and relationships considering my past, I asked him if he would be ok with just being friends with benefits for now and he said yes. The problem is that I’ve never had a FWB relationship before and I’m not really sure what all that entails. I don’t want to be too much like a girlfriend to him, but there are some things I really want (like going out for drinks or spending the night at his house). Last time we slept together he asked me to stay the night and I did, but I feel like it’s making me get too attached, and idk how to keep that from happening. I also get really confused because he will go days without texting me, maybe send me a Snapchat video of him and his friends working on cars or something, but no conversation, but then he will randomly call me and talk to me for an hour on the phone.. I just wish I could be around him more without getting too attached if that makes sense.. I like being around him, I feel safe and secure, and I don’t really have that anywhere else so it’s hard for me not to want to be around him all the time.
I know this post is long and rambling, just need advice from anyone who has had a FWB and how you made it work for both of you.