I could really cry right now. Dealing with GD has been an emotional roller coaster, and no matter how many times a doctor, family or friend tells me that it's not something I did, I can't help but feel like I'm failing because I can't control it.

Lately I've been feeling so unmotivated, I skip my walks after eating because my numbers are within range. The only thing that is screwing with me is my fasting numbers. I'm confident that it's because I can easily go 10-12 hours between dinner/snack and waking up.

Last night I couldn't sleep. And my husband got home late. I didnt feel well and just kept getting sad that I couldn't snack on anything that I wanted. All of my comfort foods are off the table. I had a protein shake as a part of my dinner/bedtime snack and sometime around 12:30 I caved and had a popsicle.

This morning my fasting number was 89!!😭 that's the lowest I've been since being diagnosed. I think it had more to do with only sleeping for 8ish hours and eating something right before bed rather than what I ate, but I'm honestly too afraid to switch things up. I feel like I'm ready to give up all creative control when it comes to dinner/snack and just eat the same thing for the rest of this pregnancy and give up on my dreams of extra sleep before the baby.

Realistically I don't think that will happen since I'm only 34w but I've not had a fasting number below 100 all week. I started out in the mid 90s a week or two ago. I feel like this 89 was just what I needed right now to renew my motivation for getting this under control.

I really just wanted to share because I dont really discuss my pregnancy with anyone and I'm just stuck right now.