Postpartum

I gave birth a week ago. I had an easy birth until after my baby girl was born. There were some complications that they ended taking me back to the OR. I only got to hold my new born for about two minutes before I started to go out of it from losing so much blood. I remember seeing my fiancé holding our daughter and my mother asking questions of what was going on. I don’t remember much, other than them taking me back and waking up still in the OR very cold. Once they were done they took me back to my room. I had told people I didn’t want anyone there until after. But when I came back to my room there was a lot of people there. I don’t remember much of who was there or what was happening. I had lost too much blood.

The thing is I feel super emotional, like everything and anything makes me cry. Yesterday I cried because I couldn’t fit any jeans through my legs because they are still super swollen.

There’s a part of me that hates that everyone was there because I only got to hold my daughter for not even 5 minutes. Makes me angry and I’m just super emotional and I don’t know what to do. I know I can’t change what happened at the hospital, but I honestly feel like I’m getting depressed. And I don’t know what to do.

Any advice? I really would appreciate it.