How do y’all do holidays?😩

Question

My fiancé and I have been going back and forth on where we are going this year for the holidays “thanksgiving/Christmas/eve”. I wanted to go to my family’s thanksgiving because I haven’t been since 2015.... which my mom has made a comment about that. As far as Christmas eve we’ve always gone to his family’s party as well. Christmas Day we always spend it with his parents or we split the day. My family definitely doesn’t think it’s fair. Prior we agreed we’d rotate years, but clearly that hasn’t happened. I mentioned that this year I’m going to my family’s thanksgiving and if he wants he can go to his family’s, but I won’t be there. And same for Christmas eve. He says that isn’t fair because everyone will want to meet the new baby. His mom said “of course she chooses this yr not to attend with the new baby” 🙄. 
How do y’all find a happy medium between family’s?
In 2015 we tried going to both thanksgivings it wasn’t fun because everyone lives far away from each other and all that driving was awful with traffic. I don’t want to make anyone mad.

Answer

It sounds like his family is being selfish.  You shouldnt be expected to spend hours driving in holiday traffic, especially with a new baby. Not to mention they dont even seem to be appreciative of all the past years youve visited them and even missed out on holidays with your own family. Personally I would put the ball in their court by offering everyone the opportunity to come visit you at your house for the holidays. If they arent willing to do that then you certainly shouldnt feel any obligation either.

Answer

Honestly, I don’t think it’s fair that he only prioritized his family. It sounds like it’s your turn.

Answer

Ultimately it’s up to you. I feel like you should go to your parents for thanksgiving and Christmas like you said since you haven’t been to one in a few years then to start rotating. Thankfully my husbands family lives out of state and my husband works thanksgiving and Christmas’s most years and we don’t have to worry about this!

Answer

our families live about 15 min from eachother so for Thanksgiving it works out for us as his family does a Thanksgiving lunch and my family does Thanksgiving dinner. 
Christmas eve and new years eve we rotate each year and it has worked for us.

Answer

My family lives about 5 hours away from us and we always try to go out there for Christmas, but we aren't always able to because of my husbands work schedule. ☹ Christmas is a huge deal for my family, not so much for his and that's why we try to go to my family. Thanksgiving we usually spend with friends. Other holidays we are usually working so we don't celebrate them as much.

Answer

we've always done both despite all the driving :/ this year though we've told everyone were skipping Christmas bc the new baby deserves her first Christmas at home :) so far the family  understands

How do y’all do holidays?😩

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