I give up

I just want to have a baby. I want my rainbow baby. I don’t understand why I can’t get pregnant. I do everything the doctors say. I take all the pills. I do the opk’s. I don’t get it. How can I magically get pregnant on my own naturally for it to end in a miscarriage and now I cannot why pregnant again for the life of me. I just wanna cry and throw my hands up. Everyone I know is pregnant or was able to get pregnant on their own and here’s me struggling everyday. Y’all I work in a OBGYN office too. I see girls who get so mad at the fact they’re having a boy and not a girl. All I can think is how I would give anything to be in your place right now. I feel like I want singing so bad that I can’t make it happen.