Casual sex with my best guy friend 🍆💕

So I went out to California visit my friend over the summer and he brought up the idea of fooling around. I was up for it until the moment of because I freaked out that it was gonna change our relationship to much. Now that I’m half way across the country, I can’t stop thinking about being with him. I want him but I’m now worried about bringing it up again and him saying no 😔. It’s difficult to think about it as just wanting a hook up or if it means more.