Am I being pathetic?😞😪

So I am so insecure, I’ve always been this way and my boyfriend of over a year and a half knows that. He’s always been so laid back and sometimes that gets in the way of our relationship.

On Saturday he had a boys night out and they got quite drunk. Admittedly I find it really hard when he goes out drinking as I am so insecure. I know that he would never cheat on me but what I worry about is that he’ll see someone so much better than me and think that he doesn’t want to be with me anymore. So the next day I go round and admittedly I’m a bit off with him but it all gets sorted later on.

So that evening I’m sitting on his computer and just type a name into his Facebook that I wanted to have a look at. As I click into the search bar, a girl that he lost his virginity to comes up as his most recent search and I just break into tears. I ring him and ask him if he can come upstairs and I just show him the screen and burst into tears. He just smiles at me whilst I’m crying my eyes out and he continues to tell me to “go home” and that “this is the end” just because I get upset over it.

He finally tells me that last night all the boys were chatting about sex and who they lost their virginity to and he tells me how he got her profile up and was showing them pictures of her. Now for someone else it may not seem like a big deal, but for me being so insecure it broke me. Especially when he proceeded to tell me how I was being completely overreactive and that I shouldn’t even be upset, whilst smiling.

I just need some advice, what can I do? How can I help with my terrible insecurities and was I wrong for being upset about this?

Sorry it’s so long, I’d really appreciate it if someone could give me some advice x