I’m confused and upset!!!

Ttc is so hard !! Especially when you have had miscarriages and want a sticky bean so bad . I got a postive opk test on cycle day 10 and I thought I had implantation spotting/ cramping on cycle day 18, It was pink with a clear discharge only once when I wiped and nothing else since . Today I’m cycle day 23 and I tested and a BFN!!! I thought I would be getting a postive by now but maybe that just wasn’t implantation on cycle 18 😭😭