I’m desperate for my first vibrator - literally, it’s driving me crazy!

I’ve been masturbating since sixteen, I’m nineteen now and.... I just need a vibrator 😬 when I was just starting out I did DIY my own ‘vibrator’ e.g. an old electric toothbrush washed and then wrapped in some socks that didn’t fit me... later moved onto a hexbug (I commented on this before - a little vibrating bug!) - lost the hexbug ages ago, still do the toothbrush thing but very rarely...... but now I think I need the real deal... it’s driving me crazy horny 😬😬

My friend has a vibrator that her friends bought her as a joke, and she always tells me to get one but she won’t come with me/turn it into a bit of a laugh, I’d feel so embarrassed to walk into a store and get my own by myself - I know that sounds stupid! 😅

I can’t buy one online because my mum is always at home and whenever I get a parcel she wants to see me unwrap it and will constantly ask me what I’ve got, so even if it’s discreetly packaged etc she will find out, I can’t deal with the shame.

I was thinking about this while I was in a corner store today - there were small vibrating bullets on sale. But imagine going to the cashier with one, I’d be so embarrassed! If it was self serve I wouldn’t give a shit but not with a cashier able to see what I’ve bought!

Am I doomed to live a vibrator-less life forever? Was tempted to buy myself a hexbug for Christmas... hahaha. So tell me ladies what do I do! Just... forget about it?

Even just writing this makes me feel horny lmfao I’m so frustrated! 😩😩