I have a past of various sexual trauma that’s made me scared of sex to the point that I’ve identified as asexual during most of my adulthood. But that’s a defense mechanism and now I’m seeing someone who I’ve already slept with but due to my trauma I feel like well never have a happy sex life. I choke up pretty frequently at the idea of touching my partner whoever that is and I really want to get past that and don’t know why I can’t. Does anyone else have a hard time touching the people they desire sexually? How do I get past this bump and make sure I’m not making my partner feel like I don’t want him when I do?