I'm looking for some courage in all honesty. Here goes.

So I met my boyfriend in August 2016.. in late November we found out I was pregnant.. yes I know we wasn't together long I was diagnosed with PCOS at 16 and never used contraception and never caught pregnant I honestly thought I would never have kids.

I was so happy he was shocked but happy.. anyway my boyfriend is indian (Sikh) however his family were all born here in the U.K. Apart from his father they are very westernised and never had a problem with me being white etc. However when he told him I was pregnant his mum and sister screamed at him telling him I must have an abortion and he must leave me. Disgusting right.

The same day I told him was the same day he told me to get rid of my baby. I said no never he then said he wanted nothing do do with me or the baby. I went to my first scan at 12 weeks my baby measured 8 and had no heartbeat. Two weeks later I miscarried naturally with the support of my mum during a 4 hour mini labour.

I never heard from him during all this time. Two months later he contacts me saying my friend seen him out partying and gave her a piece of her mind about what I been through and how can he even be out drinking with other girls etc.

I met up with him and told him what happened to my baby. He was upset (crocodile tears). Anyway my emotions getting the best of me I took him back. Time went by and deep down I still hated him slightly for being a coward and running away. Looking back now I just wanted my baby back I was chasing my loss through him believing only he could get me pregnant.

A year passed by my family hate his guts and his family hate mine. I catch again and ended up being ectopic in my right tube. I miscarried naturally and same again he already left us.

There was one incident when he lied to me one night about where he was. He is a nasty ass drunk says spiteful things and humiliates me infront of others after a drink. This one night I called him could here music and girls in the background he was shouting and swearing at me saying he was at home in the garden and his neighbour was having a garden party.

I knew he was lying. A year later he told me that night he lied to me he was actually up town parting and snogged another girl in a club. Bare in mind he loved that club and always wanted to go there even after he snogged someone else in there without me knowing. This is how he makes me look a fool.

He said he didn't want to tell me at the time because he thought I would leave him. Coward.

Now. Two years from when I met him. We been together again a couple months. His local pub has this new landlord. In her 30's (we are both 23) now she has him on Facebook. For advertising etc I had no problem. Then I find out she's on his snapchat and he has her number saved.. I'm like wtf you only said she was on your fb so you have lied to me. I said I don't want you going there seeing as you can't be trusted.

We had a big fight and he agreed he won't go there anymore as it makes me uncomfortable. His mates also told us that she take all the lads upstairs to drink bottles and sniff cocaine. My boyfriend doesn't do drugs he just drinks. But still I do not want him going up there with those tramps. He said he wouldn't.

Well tonight he said his mate from the pub has asked if he wants to go to that pub and watch the football. Ive said your taking the absolute piss out of me. He doesn't respect me or my feelings or our relationship.

Anyways..

He has booked a little get away for next week. He has rented property for us to stay in off my aunty.

Our "holiday" is in five days. He is saying he wants his £100 back. I'm saying no because she has already lost money on it giving us a discounted rate and it's too short notice for her to rent it again.

He's telling me I'm being really unfair and controlling about the pub situation. I know I should leave him and even after writing all this is gives me even more courage to fuck him off. I just needed somewhere to rant and if anyone reads this I will be very grateful.

*EDIT* I have left him and I feel so much better. A weight has been lifted off my shoulders! Thank you so much ladies I can move on with my life now ♥️