Can’t help but ugly cry

As I lay here in bed watching tv all I can feel is my baby girl kick and squirm in my tummy I can’t help but cry. Not the little tears going down my cheeks, but full on ugly cry. How did I get so lucky to be this little girls mommy? I prayed for this for years, but I never thought that I would actually get pregnant. I never thought I would be able to actually carry my baby and watch my tummy grow bigger by the day. Never thought that I would be able to have a clue what it felt like to have a baby squirm around in my tummy. But here I am, growing a healthy baby girl and I could not be happier. I know the struggle of tracking ovulation and having intercourse at just the right time thinking “this is the month I get pregnant” only to have my period come 2 weeks later, month after month, year after year. My husband and I have been trying for about 7 years, but didn’t start tracking hardcore until about 3 years ago. We both got to the point that we knew that I wouldn’t be able to conceive our child and it broke me. We considered adoption, but never knew when the “right time” for us would be. We never could get ourselves to take the steps in actually starting the process. I felt like all I wanted growing up my whole life was to be a mommy, but I was never going to get to be one. I got to the point where I didn’t even think I was pregnant anymore, I didn’t take the pregnancy tests when I was late for my period, I would just blow it off and wait for it to come. But finally, back in May, I was 14 days late. I didn’t really think much of it, just kept going about my day getting annoyed with my body for not being “normal.” I was just like “when the hell is this thing going to come” I was sick of running to the bathroom every time I felt anything down there thinking my period finally came. But the 14th day of being late was on Mother’s Day, and the thought of being pregnant popped into my head. I assumed that I wasn’t, but I just needed to test because I was thinking how cool would it be to find out on Mother’s Day! So my husband and I went to the store and got a cheap test, when I got home I ran into the bathroom to hurry and take the test. My husband didn’t sit with me and wait. We were used to this. We have sat in this bathroom so many times waiting for a positive only to get disappointed. He went to use the other bathroom while I was taking the pregnancy test just like it was any other day. But it wasn’t. This time it wasn’t negative. I was in shock, the little plus sign showed up instantly! I ran to my husband in the other bathroom and told him we needed to go back to the store. He hurried up and finished and came out and seen the test. We both just stood in the hallway holding each other bawling for a few minutes then hurried and pulled ourselves together to go get more tests. They were all positive. I was in fact pregnant! It took along time to finally get over the shock. I even still wake up some mornings in shock like “This is real! I’m really going to be a mommy.” To all the women out there who are struggling to get pregnant, I pray for every one of you daily. Even when you lost all hope, it is still possible just never give up!