Slightly scared of pregnancy? 🌈

As much as I want a child and to experience a pregnancy to term, the idea of that positive and the possibility of losing yet another baby absolutely terrifies me. I just want to skip to the second trimester when I’ll feel a little safer. Both my miscarriages were terrible and had actual contractions. Idk if that means my uterus is just healthy and knows what to do (hopefully that means if I do get to live birth it’ll be good and efficient?) but I don’t want to go through all of that pain with no baby again