I thought I wanted 3 kids.

But my birth experience with my first (I'm only 1 week pp) was so traumatic and in no way what I wanted my birth experience to be.

I wanted a natural birth. I was ok with her taking her time and getting here late. I had the idea that she would be here late.

I was induced at 39 weeks for low amniotic fluid. And within 12 hours I was getting a c-section because baby was in distress. I got robbed of my birth experience.

My baby was born at 5lbs 3 ozs, and dropped to 4lbs 15ozs in the hospital. Technically full term but far too small for newborn clothes. So I had to send my mom to get premie diapers and clothes. I lost control of my baby's wardrobe.

Moving on. I have had complications with my incision site. Severe bruising and drainage. I'm having a ton of problems moving around. So now I'm having difficulty taking care of my newborn.

Yesterday I cried 16 times. Sure, I'm hormonal. I get it. But 16 times is a little rediculous and highly concerning.

We were planning on another kid in 3 years, but I don't know if I can go through all of this again.