All these negative thoughts.. 🤦🏽‍♀️

Idk why i keep having negative thoughts.. I just not knowing if my baby is ok is worrying me. I had my first appointment, but my midwife didn’t wanna do a heartbeat check cause chances were that the baby was still too little to hear. So i insisted which i really shouldn’t of cause they couldn’t find it. 🤦🏽‍♀️ i was only 8w so it was to be expected. I go back on the 8th for another appointment and a ultrasound and I’m just so nervous.. With my first pregnancy i went at 11w just to learn that the baby stopped growing at 8w.. I’m 9w today. And I’m tryna stay positive. It’s hard. I mean deep down i know my baby is ok. I guess i just wanna see it for myself lol. I mean my dr said she’ll check for a heartbeat before my ultrasound so that’s a good thing. I still feel slightly nauseous most of the time and my boobs hurt so i guess i should be happy about that. I can’t remember what happened in my first pregnancy cause i kind of blocked it out but after that i went on to have a baby girl. So I’m just staying hopeful for this pregnancy. 😊