Husband Rant

So my husband and I have been together for 3 years and married for 2. We recently had our son 4 months ago. While I feel like him and my family have gotten a little bit better. I really don't feel like thing are great. So back story, I am the youngest child in my family and at one point or another have lived with both my siblings and helped them raise their kids. Well when my husband and I got together I moved an hour away from my family and moved over by him and his family. My family has always been hostile because of this due to me being so close with them and now they never see me. Before I got married I was with one of them almost every night of the week doing something, so me moving away was hard on all of us. Especially my niece and nephews who I helped raise. So my husbands family are all very old fashioned in how they run their households (wife stays home, husband works, wife takes care of everything, husband comes first). My family is very southern. So my can't constantly gets mad because my husband will get his plate made and sit down to eat and will leave me with the baby to fend for myself (I've come to terms with this and just deal with it). I've tried talking to my husband about this but he just gets mad and says I'm unappreciative of everything he does. Now my husband and I are both in college and both work full-time jobs. Yet when we are home, he's the one who get to relax and I take care of our son. I'm getting to a point where I'm starting to feel annoyed by a lot and I can't keep complaining to my family about my husband because that's never a good thing to do. They just get angry. I've tried talking to my husband's family about how he is but they don't see anything wrong. I've tried talking to my husband and he always says he will get better about it but he never does. I love my husband but I'm really starting to get discouraged in my relationship. I also am realizing everything about him that I don't want our son picking up on. I'm not one for divorce, I came from a divorced set of parents and will try everything before going that route. Plus I know my marriage isn't that bad. My husband and I both love each other I just don't think he really has a clue when it comes to a relationship. He says he does everything equal but I never truly feel like it's equal. I'm at a point where I don't know how to further explain my feelings because it never goes anywhere. I'm sure many will suggest counseling but the problem with that is his grandparents are pastors and they counsel and I would rather not go to family for counseling. We had to do our pre marriage counseling with them and I'd rather not have to do anymore. If you've come this far thanks for reading. I really just need to get all of this off my chest and I have no friends I'd trust telling this to so this helps.