I love you (not really.)

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 months. I am in my early twenties, but he is my first boyfriend, my first kiss, my first everything actually.

One month into the relationship he said, “I love you.”

I responded, “Me? How kind of you.” Then I kissed him and sent him on his way as he was heading out the door.

I didn’t know what to do. It felt a little like high school that he had said it so soon. I wondered if he truly meant it. But seeing as he always showers me with gifts and flowers, I understand that he did.

I said it back a couple days later. I know I definitely shouldn’t have. Most certainly I didn’t mean it. But I had never been a girlfriend before, I thought this is just how all the young and hip relationships go. They say “I love you” too soon and gush over each other in the cheesiest of ways.

Last night as he dropped me off I had a conversation with him in the car. I said, “I just have such a great time with you. But I worry that I’ll discourage you.”

“Why?” he says.

“I’m never going to be the girlfriend that remembers important dates. I’m not going to be one that posts about you on social media. I’m never going to be one that gets the slightest bit jealous over other girls. I don’t make any plans for the future. I don’t want to get married, and I don’t want any kids. (I reference kids and marriage because he’s mentioned it before.) But again I’m having such a great time and I just don’t want you to feel discouraged if I’m not expressing my feelings for you very well.”

He goes on to tell me that it’s fine and he admires my honesty.

He expresses so much infatuation over me and it feels like I can’t compete. Every time I say “I love you” back, my heart sinks. I don’t want to beak up with him. And I don’t want to break his heart by taking back every “I love you” because I didn’t really mean it. How do I continue?