Idk what to do?? Need help (kinda a long story sry for that)

Basically I’ve been in a long distance relationship with a girl I love so so much (she’s gay, i identify as queer) for the last almost 7 months. Its basically been great except for two occasions:

Time #1: in May, the kitten I had fostered and then adopted (got him when he still needed a bottle every 2 hours, I barely slept in order to take care of him) died rather traumatically. I texted her to try to get comfort from her and she didn’t reply, so I confronted her about it and she basically said “I’m just busy, sorry your cat died but that’s life” - that ended with ME APOLOGISING because she made ME feel GUILTY for being upset with HER. Eventually got over that, relationship continued

Time #2 (recently): so it was my birthday last weekend, and I woke up to three texts from her. I’m expecting something to the degree of “happy birthday baby sorry I couldn’t be there with you I love you” but it was just three really crappy photos of random things - so I ignored it since I had people over and I don’t know how to respond to that. About half an hour later this convo happens:

(She says “love me” when she feels like I’m ignoring her and she wants me to talk to her)

So she made me feel guilty about her not being there. She didn’t get the clue. Also, she had been saying for weeks “I’ll be there for your birthday I’ll be there for your birthday” then she changed it to “I’ll be there if I can afford it” but never did she actually say that she wasn’t coming. So then I confronted her about it because there was a bunch of really crappy stuff that went down and I was really upset at how terrible my birthday ended up turning out AND SHE ONCE AGAIN MADE ME FEEL GUILTY ABOUT BEING UPSET AND I ENDED UP APOLOGISING. Like I can’t stand this. I feel like she’s guilt tripping me too often and expecting so much out of me but not doing the same in return - so I’m feeling like im putting more into this relationship than she is. I struggle with anxiety and depression as it is (not just saying that, have an actual diagnosis and have been in therapy on and off for the last 6 years) and this is making everything worse. I can’t deal with this but I also love her so much and I don’t want to hurt her?? Idk i feel like i should wait it out a little longer and see if things get better and I’m kinda tempted to wait like 2 more weeks until it’s her birthday and pull the same shit she did and see how she reacts but that’s so mean of me??? I seriously don’t know what to do someone help??