My ex boyfriend. I’ve been dealing with feelings of rage after realizing the emotional scars he left. He pressured me into doing stuff inadvertently by saying he would never pressure me and then guilting me into feeling bad when I didn’t do stuff. One time he tried to finger me as we made out, and it hurt like hell for me but I didnt say anything. I couldnt walk the next day and was sore.

I just realized that if I had been comfortable with him and felt safe and ok, I would’ve been looser down there and more lubricated, and he never would’ve hurt me.

It’s been three months since the break up.

I’ve wanted to text him and tell him I’ll never forgive him for the mental scars he’s given me, the fear of sexual actions now. But I haven’t sent it.

If only my past self knew.

If only she would’ve ended the relationship before it was too late.

If only.