Confused

I am the type of person who would rather please others over myself and make them happy even if it doesn’t necessarily make me happy. The first time I met my (now ex) he kept trying to make a move to finger me and of course I declined but he kept trying. Eventually I got him to stop but after my friend and her boyfriend left I thought he just wanted to hug me or something but he ended up fingering me, a bit hard. I don’t remember if I said “no” but I think I said something along those lines. Throughout the relationship he did things like that and I would say “no I don’t want to do that” but he would keep asking me and eventually I would give into it or if he wanted to do something to me he would just do it even if I didn’t say it was okay. Idk what to call it but I don’t think it was okay and I just sort of needed to talk about it.