...and my normal advice giving friend is sick

I’ve been having a rough couple days. More like rough month. The following may be a little biased based on my current mood. My husband isn’t always like this. It comes and goes.

I have seriously been considering divorce but I feel like if I leave I won’t have anywhere to go.

Let me start with the relationship background. We’ve been married almost 6 years we have a 2.5 year old son. We have a house in NC that we’ve had for almost 6 years and a house in MI we bought last year. My family is in Ohio all of his is in MIchigan.

Now the issues

He’s lazy, selfish, not very supportive, and self centered. He only kisses me during sex or if he wants sex. And if I kiss him he thinks I want sex. Since my son I haven’t felt pretty. Like ever. He only tells me I’m pretty when he wants sex.

The recent evidence:

Lazy-My parents are coming into town soon and our house is a mess. We have four rooms left to clean after I’ve cleaned most everywhere else (his cleaning is moving things from one spot they don’t belong to another spot it doesn’t belong). He complained about trying to clean the entire house in a day and said it is easier for him to clean one room a day and then relax. I agreed and told him to pick two of the four remaining rooms. My parents come into town on sat and he hasn’t even started on his rooms. I’m almost done with mine. He spent today playing video games and watching tv. Then when I say I have a softball game during the week he thinks that’s an excuse for him to do nothing because I won’t be cleaning the house either. I’m going to end up cleaning everything.

Selfish- I work 30hrs a week and I have school two days a week and I come home and make dinner and clean and play with our son. He goes to class from 8-4 comes home and does nothing. Some days he cuts grass but that’s about it. When he wasn’t going to school he would come into bed at like 2 in the morning making a bunch of noise when I had to be up at 8. But the first day he had to get up the next morning me coming to bed at 11 was a huge issue.

Supportive: I’m an art student with a co-op position that is dependent on me taking classes. My husband said after he starts his job I can just quit mine and quit going to school. He is convinced I am only taking classes to keep my job because no one would want to be an art teacher for real.

Now to the part where I have nowhere to go. Physically I have plenty of places to go. Back with my parents in Ohio, or their lake house also in Ohio, or our house in NC. The issue with this is my husband will never leave MI and I can’t take my son that far away from his dad. I would feel like an awful mother and that my son would hate me as he got older.

I don’t know how much longer I can take this though. He doesn’t listen when I tell him things. I don’t know how to get through to him.