Thought I’d be more excited

I have a long history of depression, so I’m wondering if that’s what’s kicking me in the rear since my hormones are out of whack? The first day I found out I was pregnant I was in total shock. My husband and I were hoping for this, but now that it’s a reality I am crippled with depression. I’m 6 weeks along, I just want to feel excited about it. I feel guilty for not being excited..but I’m just so down about it, wanting to isolate myself. I guess I always pictured myself being so happy about it but I’m just not. To be clear:I recognize there are so many women who would love to be in my position that are struggling to conceive, Im grateful..I just can not talk myself out of this, I would if I could 😔. I’m waiting on info from the birth center for a therapist. Has anyone else struggled with this?