Quarter Life Crisis? πŸ€·πŸΌβ€β™€οΈ

Warning: long annoying rant about my life.

At the beginning of the year I almost had it all.

I graduated nursing school, got a really nice job at a urology office, moved out on my own with some friends, had a 2 year anniversary with my ex, bought a new car and so on.

I have always been the overachiever in my family, so when I fell, I fell hard.

I graduated high school and immediately went to college. At that same time I met my ex boyfriend and we hit it off. My family never liked him, but I thought he was the one. Little did I know, I would soon come to find out that I'd made a huge mistake.

There are plenty of reasons that made me fall out of love with him, but the longer I stayed the more I realized what was happening. I realised that if I stayed, I would likely not survive and so I ended it.

A month later I lost my job at the urology office, and felt screwed because I wasnt licenced as a nurse yet and it would be $200 to do that. I got a job at a pizza place and made barely enough to cover my bills.

Durring this time, I'm living with mine and my exs friends. So while they were supportive of me at first, it quickly grew sour. My ex and I had several altercations initiated by him where the police were called and so on.

I felt stuck and abused.

Durring all of this, a really good friend of mine who I've known and have had feelings for, for 6+ years enters my life in a serious way.

Call me stupid for pursuing it durring all of this, but when I realised he was interested, there was no way in hell I was turning him down. Plus he was in college, so for the first 3 months he was the same old friend and support system he had always been. It just moved to an every day, talking on the phone until 2am every night kinda thing.

Well, when he graduated college, he came to live with me. (And my exs friends) awkward, I know. It worked for the first few months, but ended in extreme drama. I cut everyone off that I had been associated with for the past two years.

Unfortunately, while the situation for us was better without them, it helped us to realize that we were in fact screwed.

My boyfriend now, realized soon before coming home from college that he still had a misdemeanor on his record that never got expunged. Therefore causing him to not be able to get a job in his feild right away. He got odd jobs to help me out, plus I was still working at the pizza place.

Well, I had the bright idea that I could trust my mom enough to provide me with a place to stay until we could get everything situated and back on our feet. Well, if you've ever met a meth addict then you know why I am a silly silly girl.

That is a whole different story though. My mother is an unreliable piece of trash and I cut her off too.

Fast forward, and my boyfriend got his record expunged and got a nice job! Yay!

We moved in with his mom, and she has been helping us out tremendously until his first paycheck, that feels like it's never coming.

I had to quit my job to let him use my car for work (he is a cable guy lol).

So now, all I do is sit at his moms house in our room and hate my life.

And while I do love him, and I am so grateful for everything I have been given lately, I just cant seem to figure out why the universe is so against me.

I have no friends anymore, no money, no car, no job, no life. I feel as though I'm an extra in my own movie.

I know things will change once he starts making money, gets his own car, has the ability to pay for my test, ect. But right now I feel like things will never get better.

It's really depressing honestly and I just needed to vent to everyone. I hope it makes since because I left a ton out to shorten it.

If you have made it this far, some words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated. It has been a long year πŸ˜…