I don’t want to push my friend away, help?
Some back ground;
I really wanted october to our month to conceive. We met in October , got our first house in October , got married in October. Our first wedding anniversary is next week...
And I’m just starting to come on...
I feel like the world is against me... reminding me that I will never have what I’ve always wanted and a year on from getting married I feel like my life still isn’t complete and it’s killing me.
Seeing my best friend and her 3 week old for lunch today and I know it’s awful but I just want to stay in bed. I cancelled on her last Sunday with other friends.
Part of me wants to say I can’t see her today because I’m not in a good mood at all and be honest with her. But I don’t want to push her away 😔? but I’ve been crying all morning
It’s nothing to do with her and her baby. I love her as a friend so much. But I just cant pretend to be OK and I don’t want to put her in a awkward situation. She knows I’m up and down so it’s not new to her. But I don’t want to make the afternoon all about me. I could try and put on a facade but it’s so hard , but is that the right thing?
UPDATE- I was honest with her and because her reaction was understanding and supportive I’m going over for lunch today and I’m hoping as soon as I see her and her baby I will feel a million times better. I haven’t spoke to her one to one since she had her baby which is understandable because she’s so busy so will be nice to get to catch-up in a environment where I can just chill out when I’m feeling so shit ❤️ a big thanks to those that understand