Blood (may be gross to read): I have a question

So this guy and i have been hooking up for a while and usually he ends up fingering me and eating me out. I’m grateful he actually knows what he’s doing- kind of. There are two things he doesn’t understand and only one of them I can probably help him understand.

1. We’re not sure why but sometimes after he’s done fingering me, there’s blood. I feel pain sometimes when he shoves his fingers too far up but this leads to #2

2. I don’t like pain as much as he thinks I do. I sort of like pain but he enjoys when I hiss and twitch and all that stuff. So he likes inflicting pain because he knows it’s authentic. But I don’t like feeling pain as much as I thought I did in the beginning.

(pre-cursor to the next thing: he’s not abusive in any way physical or emotional- he try’s to make sure everything is honest and open) but i am scared to express my needs and wants in general... now that we’ve established a pattern i’m scared to tell him how i feel about pain because i don’t want to loose him as a sexual partner and i don’t want him to stop fingering me or eating me out.

(also he has trouble getting and keeping a really hard erection. it’s possible with the assistance of a cock ring but it’s still difficult for him. that’s why he usually fingers)

so my question is: how do I deal with this situation? (aside from conventional wisdom: just tell him how you feel)

has anyone else had something they were afraid to express? and how did you deal with your situation?