Two years ago today, my entire life was taken from me. I was 16, the big 16. I thought i was so grown, i was so happy. My friends and I decided we were going to have a little party/get together with friends, so we did. We all hung out all night, laughing, being teenagers. It was around 11:30pm, me and my two best friends decided to walk back to her house. We got there and I wasn’t feeling well, and they wanted to go down to the diner, i told them to go ahead, i didn’t want to go. About a half hour passed, there was a knock on the door, i opened it, thinking it was them. It was some guy, i was for sure he looked familiar. He looked at me and said “ I’m so sorry “ then pushed himself inside. He held a gun to my head, took my clothes off and forced himself inside me. I was a virgin. He kept saying “ I’m sorry “ and “ I have problems too, i cant help it. “ i didn’t understand what he meant. I was crying, i was bleeding. I couldn’t move. It went on for what i felt hours, was probably an hour. I heard the door open, he jumped up. My friends walked through the door, he ran so fast out. I was sitting there in my own blood, bawling. They called the police, i was taken to the hospital. I still couldn’t speak. I couldn’t move. I was kept at the hospital overnight, in the morning i gave my official statement. I went home with my mother, and my friends. They spent hours and hours comforting me. A few weeks later, the detective on my case called and asked us to come in. I did. She said she has him in custody and asked if i ever met him before. I didn’t. Then she said what she was about to show/tell me was going to be disgusting, and it was. She said they went to his house, and his whole entire bedroom walls were covered in photos of me. pictures he took himself, of me out with friends. He had stalked me months and months. I didn’t even know. A few months later, we went to court. He was 19, it was his first offense and he was in college, he got 3 months in jail and 4 years probation, and had to do counseling. It was a 3 day court process. The final day, i was standing there with my mother and aunt, i went to the bathroom and came back. His parents were standing there, talking to my mom. His mom said “ Can i talk to her? is that okay? “ My mom said “ Yes. Shes not a bad kid. “ They walked up to me and she said “ I am so sorry “ and hugged me.

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A letter to the monster who destroyed me:

I was 16. Only 16. You took everything from me, you stole my innocence. You had no right to do that. You took something from me, something i cannot get back. I spent months, and months blaming myself, but it wasn’t my fault. I was only 16. The day you got sentenced, you read me a letter, and you said a specific line i cannot forget. “ I’m sorry for the distress i caused you “ No. It was more than distress. It was not being able to look in the mirror for months because i couldn’t stand to look at myself, after seeing all those pictures you took. It was not being able to let my family and friends hug me because anytime someone touched me, i broke down bawling. It was me, ending up in the hospital, in a coma for 2 months because i took a bunch of drugs, wanting to die because i couldn’t get the touch of your hands off my skin. I couldn’t sleep at night, because of you. I couldn’t eat, because of you. I lost 20lbs, which was terrible because i was only 113. You fucked me up, in so many ways. You took my youth. You made me scared. Now im taking it back. I’m doing better, im in a good relationship with a man who loves me more than ever, I am 4 months pregnant. I am in college, to be a doctor. I am doing a lot better. That is something you will never be able to take from me.